Russia says it's ready to cut ties with the EU and it sucks!

Russia and EU messed up relationship as another example of a worldwide diplomacy crisis

Russia says it's ready to cut ties with the EU and it sucks!

Hello my dear, beautiful, sexy, good-looking, comrades,

When I woke up after another Vodka night session I was routinely checking newsfeed: Joe did this, Joe didn’t do that, Joe was about to do something but then he suddenly got asleep, Trump and republican supporters are bad because they are racist and always assumes everybody’s gender, SJWs blames white people for everything, from global warming to fail in personal relationships (because you thought you dated bisexual transracial Martian whose biological age is 25 but his mental age is 7 and who turned out to be a straight white man!!! OMG, someone needs a Vodka session too and perhaps a visit to the therapist), and so forth, and so forth.

In other words, nothing special happened in another normal suka blyat day in America. But one news quite startled me: Russia says it’s ready to end ties with European Union according to a CNBC article.

This is a quote from Russian foreign minister Sergey Lavrov:

We don’t want to isolate ourselves from global life, but we have to be ready for that. If you want peace then prepare for war.

What do I think about it? Well, I am quite disappointed that within the last couple of years Russia has real trouble getting along with other countries, especially big political blogs, not speaking about the USA. Yes, this contradictive story that resolves with Crimea and Ukraine set everybody’s teeth on the edge, and to be honest, consequences for now are rather negative than positive. At least, if we speak about Russia’s world prestige.

Yet EU and USA don’t seem to look like, as we say it on Russian, nerzhniye and pushistiye (sweet and fluffy, just like kittens from Google pics that probably remains the best thing left in our f*cking world). Come on, let’s admit that in big politics (well, just like in real life) everybody chases their own goals. I like Russia, no, I adore it, but this country did a lot of mistakes. Bloody hell of mistakes! EU and USA, especially, USA is no saint. Hell no! Or it might be saint as Donald Trump’s web browser history. I like America, I like American people, but… there is nothing more to say.

What if we, as Russians and Americans, are hostages of countries? Think about it.

As for Russia’s possible decision to cut ties with the rest of the world and live in isolation – I think it won’t happen because economic ties at least are very, very tight and if one would “rip them off” two sides would fail. There will be no winners for sure. So, I think that Lavrov could make this statement as some sort of warning or to show that Russia has balls, I am sorry, guts. However, that kind of statement, made from both Russia and the USA, EU, and other countries in general serves as proof of world diplomacy’s crisis which is as bad as Downtown LA McDonalds’s restrooms. It full of s*it and is ready to turn a sh*tmonster and take over our virgin asses!  

So, lets us get a big box of popcorn and a good amount of Vodkas to see what would happen next. It’s all sucks, my ladies and ladies!

The Socialist States of America

Is America really turning "red"?

All Power to the Soviets!

For those who don’t know this is an old Soviet statement that highlights the strength of communist ideas that were, as we all know it, Soviet Union and other socialist states proclaimed, showed, and promoted.

            Why I am telling you this, my dear Americans, or, because of the following trend, that I am about to discuss in five-second, shall I start to call you my American comrades?

The thing is that now American youth is more than ever considered socialism as an effective alternative to capitalism according to the Fox News article Millennials, Gen Z increasingly comfortable with socialism, Marxism, activists say.

            How on earth America is turning red after the victory in the cold war over USSR and its allies?

            I promise – it’s either me, Vodka, nor Vladimir (yes, the one you thought about, and it’s not Putin but Lenin). Vladimir Illyich Lenin!

            Ironically, the end of the Cold War rather sent them underground than buried Marxist and other leftist ideas.   

            But do Americans need to consider this seriously?

            Historian Lee Edwards, Ph. D., says that:

"What most millennials mean by 'socialism' seems to be a mix of our welfare state and what they perceive to be Swedish democratic socialism. But Sweden and the other Scandinavian countries including Denmark favor the free market and are content with private rather than government ownership of their major industries."

            While historian is right in his observations, we all see that left ideas are becoming popular in the USA.

            However, don’t get afraid, my dear Americans. Neither socialism nor communism would hardly become a dominant ideology in the USA. No businessmen, no CEOs, white-collar workers won’t want to lose their money and property for the sake of building a “world free of exploitation”. It's impossible the same way I will stop drink Vod… which is another big peer-reviewed topic to discuss.

            I think that many millennials sympathize with these ideas because they proclaimed social equality. Thus, BLM, feminists, LGBTQ, and other organizations adopted Marxist ideas in their fight – or rather they believe they are fighting – against racism and other forms of oppression. This is certainly great, but consequences of these protests, like material damage worth millions of dollars, street anarchy, reversed racism, and aggressive rhetoric towards white people (yes, it does exist) once again confirms that leftist populism still dominates over real Marxist ideas that aimed to destroy oppression of any kind. Unfortunately, part of the American youth perceives and practices these ideas in a very superficial, one-sided, and distorted way.

            Neither Karl Marx who was concerned about social inequality and nor Martin Luther King who was fighting against racism and racial prejudices would hardly accept the modern manifestation of the ideas they believed in.

             Let me quickly speak about the manifestation of socialism. You’d be surprised, but the USSR, People’s Republic of China, Vietnam, Romania, and even Scandinavian countries that shared a lot of socialism traits had and have different views of socialism. I won’t go into details about these distinctions (there is a big number of books about it) but sometimes these approaches turned socialist states into foes. For example, China and USSR had a hostile relationship (so-called Sino-Soviet split) at the end of the 1950s. Modern China is a half-capitalist country and Scandinavian socialism is paired with a free market.

So, who is the real commie here?

            Even USSR didn’t have “clear” socialism but rather had government capitalism. However, and despite Western Anti-Soviet propaganda USSR had a lot of benefits of socialism. For instance, the Soviet government gave its citizens free flats, free cars (though it took a lot of time to get it), free education, and medicine both of whom were considered one of the best in the world. USSR may not have product variety, but Soviet people didn’t bother themselves to struggle to find a job after graduation – a big issue millions of American millennials must deal with to some level. 

            Indeed, if we take growing national debt, expensive rents, employment problems, and the increasing gap between rich and poor in America we can see that capitalism is not great. However, American citizens of all generations and races remain a consumer society that won’t turn this country into the Socialist States of America.

            Takie dela.

Covid-19 Vaccine: Another B*llshit or Light in The End of The Dark-Ass Tunnel?

The cure is on the way?

My dear and hopefully healthy and well-drunk comrades,

The situation with Covid-19 remains uneasy: the mortality rate grows, and nationwide lockdown wouldn’t be canceled any time soon. Neither Trump nor Putin, Russian hackers, and not even thousands of Putins and Chuck Norris (don’t kill me for this, Chuck) can’t stop it: we are all tired with the things that are going on right now.

From the beginning of this sh*t we have been told about undergoing development vaccines and here’s the news for ya, comrades.

According to the article, Russia announces positive COVID-vaccine results from controversial trial Russian vaccine Sputnik V (by the way this word means “satellite” in English) has shown great results in fighting this damn motherf*cker from Wuhan:

The Gamaleya National Center of Epidemiology and Microbiology in Moscow and the Russian Direct Investment Fund said that an interim analysis of 20 COVID-19 cases identified among trial participants has found that the vaccine was 92% effective. The analysis looked at more than 16,000 volunteers — who received either the vaccine or a placebo — 3 weeks after they had taken the first dose. The trial has enrolled a total of 40,000 participants, the release said.

Sounds good, right? But it’s too early (but never too late) to drink vodka! These are not the final but interim results only that needs further tests:

The low number of cases reported in the Sputnik V trial means that there is less certainty that the vaccine’s true efficacy is above 90%, compared with the Pfizer and BioNTech analysis, said Stephen Evans, an epidemiologist at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, in a statement to the UK Science Media Centre (SMC). “Further follow-up is needed because the results are compatible with a much lower efficacy — 60% — based on these data.”

And it’s not all! The article What does COVID-19 vaccine effectiveness mean? Gives a quote that made me think that vaccine research is far from the end:

The broad, early effectiveness figures don’t tell the whole story. Scientists also need to understand how well the vaccine protects people in different age groups and demographic categories.

If you take people who may have side effects even from the 100%-working vaccine coupled with folks who believe that vaccine is another Devil’s invention just like Los Angles traffic jam the situation is hardly fixable! But there is hope.

Seems like big world guys (ok liberals, you may think that they’re nonbinary Alien women – wait, what???) like Russia, the UK, and the USA are working hard to find a vaccine that would save humanity from this Coronapocalypshit. And if politics could matter less than it should be these three superpowers could unite to fight this damn virus and find the way from this ass that whole world had stuck in. F*ck you, coronavirus, you stink!

Takie dela, suka blyat!

P.S If somebody knows CEO of coronavirus, please mail putinlikestrump@gmail.com so I can kick his arse!

Americans Are Weird As Hell

Craziness Americans Can't See

Hello, my lovely and sexy comrades!

I’ve been living in the USA for almost 6 years and during that time I watched a lot of quirks Americans do. It’s time to ask you: WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?!

1. Asking ‘How are you?” with no actual interest in it

Why do you ask this question if you don’t want to know how am I doing? I know that you don’t want to hear that I am upset with Russian hackers’ job during this election or that I’ve been working hard last night and didn’t sleep much. I know that you ask this question in the sense of politeness, not sincerity. You have a lot of issues with expressing your sincerity which also hurts you: you may look positive, but at the same time you take antidepressants to cure your long-lasting depression... The USA is the #1 nation of antidepressants-consumers in the world. In the world! And you consider your country the greatest in the world? Think of it for a moment.

2. Why are you smile all the time?

Russians and many other nations consider the American smile to be hypocritical, and we call it “plastic smile”. Why smile to everybody? I can see by your face that you are trying to smile, but don’t want to do this. What’s wrong with looking neutral? You should smile only to those who you care about or, like in my case when you get a good Russian Vodka Putinka (it’s actual Russian brand and it’s not sh*t like American Borski Vodka!!!).

3. Walking to strangers’ house with shoes

Why don’t you take off your shoes? For your information, we clean our floor and carpets and don’t want to see shoe spots, especially if you have been in 7eleven.

4. Obsession with race

You are trying hard to defend racism, but everybody talks about racial issues every time. Morgan Freeman once said: "I'm going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man". Is it that hard? All people are equal and deserve respect except those who like pizza with pineapples.

5. Obsession with being politically correct

Why everybody is so sensitive and get triggered when they see (or think they see) something racist, sexist, and another sh*t like that? I don’t care if you would hate me for this, but in many ways, these issues have been created by your sick imagination. I get triggered when I see why Russian hackers do so poorly this year.

6. Obsession with money and materialism

There is even a t-shirt with “I am not gay but 20$ is 20$” title on it. You are so miserable.

7. Love to argue

The American paradox: everybody super nice to each other until they got a verbal fight. Many Americans are quite aggressive when they don’t get the things they want. I understand when you get upset about serious things like why America is not a part of Russia yet, but why small things can piss you off? You are so miserable.

8. Aggressive foreign policy

You blame Russia, Chine, Iran for all the sins, but you have invaded Iraq, Libya, and Syria. So, who is the main world aggressor after all?

9. Americans are so spoiled

Stop complaining about any kind of harassment. Life is not easy. Nobody owes you anything. If you want to live well, without stress, take away your hypocritical smiles. Be sincere, stop competing all the time and trust me, then your life will become much easier and better. Money is important, but they don’t solve everything.

You can laugh at my words, but you have no other choice. In the US, violence only grows.  Look at the skyrocketing number of mass shootings, police brutality, racial conflicts (in which everyone is to blame, absolutely all races, both whites and blacks, and Asians and Latinos have racists, everyone!), not speaking about material instability.

PUTtINg it all together, I don’t want to offend my dear Americans. Jokes aside, I think that America is a great country in many ways, majority of people are very nice here, but WHY ARE YOU KEEP DOING THESE FUC*ING STUPID QUIRKS THAT MADE ME WANT TO ASK VLADIMIR (THE ONE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT, DAAAAA!) PRESS RED COMMUNIST BUTTON AND MAKE AMERICA EXPLOSIVELY SHINE AGAIN??

I am a good and kind person but… you are so weird. It’s vodka time… see you again next time. Dosvidaniya and go to hell!

NO SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IN RUSSIA

No same-sex marriage in Russia

Vsem Privet,

Same-sex marriage, including both genders, as well as transgenders (how many genders are there, lol?), won’t ever be legalized in Russia as well as in other post-soviet countries.

Why not?

First, same-sex marriage, LGBTQ, and other same-like novelty from West considered to be a threat to a conservative, family-oriented, and religious Russian society. Moreover, same-sex marriage may hit to demographics of the country, where the population slowly decreases. In recent corrections to the Russian constitution, Vladimir Putin and State Duma (analog of American congress) made clear statements, that family, traditions, and ethics are the main priority to the country. This is what Putin recently said:

As far as ‘parent number 1’ and ‘parent number 2’ goes, I’ve already spoken publicly about this and I’ll repeat it: As long as I’m president this will not happen. There will be dad and mum,

However, these statements do not cancel or somehow oppress non-traditional sexual relationships in the country. For instance, there are many gay celebrities in Russia. You’d be surprised, but some of whom are open about their orientation where others won’t make coming out for personal reasons.

But let’s imagine, that State Duma allowed same-sex marriage. What reactions would follow? Nationwide protests may lead the government to lose its legitimacy in people’s eyes. If even there will be no protests, LGBTQ won’t simply take root in society.

It always a bad idea to sow seeds where they won’t ever grow, after all.

SEX EDUCATION 101 Professor Vladimir Trump

Sex Education 101 Professor Vladimir Trump

Zdorova bratva

It’s been almost four months since the quarantine started, and people still wonder: “What the f*ck is going on?”. And it’s a pizdetz suka blyat!

While there are tones of answers to that question, both subjective, objective, biased, unbiased, and other nobody-give-sh*t responses, other important questions come up.

Before I’ll put this, excuse my language by using words related to sex. For many people it’s an uncomfortable topic. Since I respect the feelings of my audience, and since I am very polite and politically correct person, I’ll ask this straight:

How to f*ck during f*cking quarantine? And what the f*ck is going f*ucking on with f*cking how to do f*cking f*ck?

See, how I didn’t use the s-word? Because I can relate to you (konechno net) feelings. By the way, the * hides the letter ‘u’. It’s for the kids, who study the alphabet.

In other words, I am a pure, communist angel as Stalin called me.

But let me put the jokes aside. How to do thiS during quarantine? Well, here is an option.

If you want to be with women, men, gays, lesbians, transgenders, feminists, black-lives-matter activists, aliens, republicans, democrats, Bill Cosby, etc. you need to invite whoever he or she is to the party.

‘That’s impossible!’, you may ask.

Since it’s not math, it’s easy. To make this possible, you need to ask people to bring respirators, chips, and vodkas (especially this). Also, people need to bring themselves because otherwise, you would do this on your own.

You got what I mean?

People get clicked, and after drinking one gallon of vodka, they are ready for thiS. See? I don’t use s-word, because I respect you. Anyway, we speak about f*cking f*ck, da?

People can hug and touch each other since respirators don’t allow you to be face-to-face (which is a good thing, cause you or these party people can be very ugly or be the Republican party supporters).

That’s my advice to you, comrades. And one more thing. Before doing thiS (by what I mean f*cking f*ck) be sure that you have a partner that fits into your orientation. Because otherwise it would be… em… f*cked up.  

That’s all, my good and sexy tovarischi. And if you don’t have any friends, or a partner, you are not desperate! While reading my blog, you would feel as you are doing this (which is f*cking). It doesn’t work, at least you can imagine this and drink vodkas.

Poka!