Sex Education 101 Professor Vladimir Trump
Zdorova bratva
It’s been almost four months since the quarantine started, and people still wonder: “What the f*ck is going on?”. And it’s a pizdetz suka blyat!
While there are tones of answers to that question, both subjective, objective, biased, unbiased, and other nobody-give-sh*t responses, other important questions come up.
Before I’ll put this, excuse my language by using words related to sex. For many people it’s an uncomfortable topic. Since I respect the feelings of my audience, and since I am very polite and politically correct person, I’ll ask this straight:
How to f*ck during f*cking quarantine? And what the f*ck is going f*ucking on with f*cking how to do f*cking f*ck?
See, how I didn’t use the s-word? Because I can relate to you (konechno net) feelings. By the way, the * hides the letter ‘u’. It’s for the kids, who study the alphabet.
In other words, I am a pure, communist angel as Stalin called me.
But let me put the jokes aside. How to do thiS during quarantine? Well, here is an option.
If you want to be with women, men, gays, lesbians, transgenders, feminists, black-lives-matter activists, aliens, republicans, democrats, Bill Cosby, etc. you need to invite whoever he or she is to the party.
‘That’s impossible!’, you may ask.
Since it’s not math, it’s easy. To make this possible, you need to ask people to bring respirators, chips, and vodkas (especially this). Also, people need to bring themselves because otherwise, you would do this on your own.
You got what I mean?
People get clicked, and after drinking one gallon of vodka, they are ready for thiS. See? I don’t use s-word, because I respect you. Anyway, we speak about f*cking f*ck, da?
People can hug and touch each other since respirators don’t allow you to be face-to-face (which is a good thing, cause you or these party people can be very ugly or be the Republican party supporters).
That’s my advice to you, comrades. And one more thing. Before doing thiS (by what I mean f*cking f*ck) be sure that you have a partner that fits into your orientation. Because otherwise it would be… em… f*cked up.
That’s all, my good and sexy tovarischi. And if you don’t have any friends, or a partner, you are not desperate! While reading my blog, you would feel as you are doing this (which is f*cking). It doesn’t work, at least you can imagine this and drink vodkas.
Poka!